I Primarily Date Girls But Do Not Call Me A Lesbian

I Mainly Date Women But Please Don’t Call Me A Lesbian

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We Primarily Date Women But Don’t Call Me A Lesbian

I typically you should not proclaim my personal sexuality right away upon meeting new people, but I know it is going to most likely arise at some time if we come to be friends. I simply say that We have a girlfriend and leave it at that, but leading many people to
think i am a lesbian
, which bothers the hell regarding me because we never stated I became and that I’d never select that label for me.

  1. I had intimate thoughts for folks who are not ladies.

    While I currently just look for ladies appealing and just wish go out women, i have
    discovered guys attractive before
    . Am I intimately interested in all of them? Instead of most days, but romantic and intimate thoughts do not usually go hand-in-hand. Throughout my young people, I’ve crushed on different children, but after matchmaking some men and doing some soul-searching, there is
    I prefer females
    . That still does not remove my personal past, and sexuality can be substance. Maybe I’m not keen on males now, but I might under conditions or I might not. I just should not get tied up all the way down by specifics of a “lesbian” label.

  2. Not all women that have relationships/sex with other ladies are lesbians.

    While I really don’t like getting known as a lesbian, I


    pretty entirely into females. However some ladies aren’t.
    Some ladies are bisexual
    —surprise!—or pansexual or perhaps don’t value gender whatsoever. Making use of the phrase “lesbian” to explain any girl who is currently with an other woman is often incorrect. Whenever a phrase is commonly completely wrong generally, I don’t want to use it.

  3. I am not through the isle of Lesbos

    . If you have no idea, there is a genuine place in Greece known as Island of Lesbos and people in fact reside here. “Lesbian” makes reference to men and women or circumstances from that area. The phrase “lesbian” as a way to relate to homosexual women merely came to exist due to Sappho, who famously composed really love poetry about females. (area note: she also composed poetry about loving guys as well, however she actually is the ultimate symbolization of being a “lesbian.” Bisexual erasure much?) Anyway, people from the Island of Lesbos really do not like folks
    contacting homosexual women “lesbians
    .” There is some homophobia on their campaigning against the term, however still have to confess it really is quite stupid to refer to all the homosexual women as “from this option Greek Island.” There are additionally a lot more homosexual women than individuals who live in Lesbos, making this especially vexing in my experience.

  4. Gay and queer are fun words.

    I do love saying your message “queer” and additionally describing myself as “gay AF.” Queer normally an example of reclaiming a phrase from homophobes, that will be constantly amazing. It literally implies something which’s just just a little strange, in fact it is ideal for myself, and homosexual simply indicates pleased. Why would not I want to be homosexual? We should all be very happy. Easily have to select a label, i will declare that
    I am gay
    . Regard the pleased.

  5. I really don’t suit the lesbian label.

    I give consideration to my self a part of the LGBTQ+ area, together with best part about the neighborhood usually every person out of every stroll of existence need welcome so long as they are acknowledging. Nevertheless when In my opinion of being a “lesbian,” personally i think like there’s this mythical community of those that I don’t rather squeeze into. Many this is pretty old school, but even now there is a large number of supposed “must haves” for lesbians, like you have to be aggressive, use bamboo, and hear Tegan and Sara. I do nothing of the things. Since “lesbian” as a term looks quite stereotyping in scope, i’m like easily make use of it, I have to
    conform to stereotypes
    … and I don’t.

  6. I am not femme or butch.

    Together with maybe not conforming to lesbian stereotypes, I additionally do not feel just like I fall into a category. Many people who determine as lesbians make reference to themselves as “butch” or “femme.” Privately, I believe this beats the purpose. I am not gay therefore I can emulate a heterosexual few but every single their. In any case, I am not actually excessively male or overly feminine. I enjoy put on gowns, but We
    almost never put on makeup
    or jewelry. My personal hair is a long time but occasionally i love to use men’s garments. I defy these groups, which is like defying getting a lesbian generally.

  7. My personal sex does not determine myself.

    My primary meat because of the phrase “lesbian” is when you identify as one, you need to state “I’m


    lesbian.” If you say you’re gay, you can just say “I’m homosexual.” Linguistics are essential in my opinion because language reflects personal prices. When anyone utilize the phrase “gay,” it’s a descriptor. When anyone make use of the phrase “lesbian,” it’s an identifier. Becoming gay falls under my personal identity, but it is rarely all i’m. It’s just one facet, very you shouldn’t cook myself down to only “a lesbian.”

  8. Really don’t need to exclude non-binary or asexual folks.

    Being a lesbian seems to have a stiff description: a woman that is intimately keen on additional ladies. But what if you are a woman with someone that’s non-binary? They aren’t a female, even though they aren’t men, so that the term “lesbian” feels incorrect. And
    in case you are asexual, you still have passionate emotions
    , and possibly you may have intimate thoughts for another lady. Can a “lesbian” not be intimately keen on ladies? It does not matter in my experience if someone’s ace, non-binary, trans, or whatever they identify since, but utilising the phrase “lesbian” to describe my self feels like when i have to omit people that don’t possess a “standard” sexuality or sex.

  9. I am not porn.

    Lesbian is such a standard search phrase in pornography.
    You don’t notice individuals dealing with “best free gay porno” that describes females having sex. The reason being “gay porno” aims at homosexual guys and features males making love with one another. But “lesbian porno,” featuring females making love with one another, is aimed at directly guys. Because i am aware this, i’m fetishized anytime I’m labeled as a lesbian, even if that isn’t the objective. I simply are unable to divorce the fetishization of queer women through the phase. Additionally reminds myself of all of the kinds of bad situations in community and exactly how typically homosexual people are fetishized, thus please don’t call me a lesbian.

Emma is actually a twenty-something author living in North Carolina. She really loves precious circumstances, gay things, and being right about situations. She actually is additionally some a nerd.

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